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I am not perfect, and I will never claim to be. I am only me and that is something I strive to be proud of whether it be through exercise and eating well, or inspiring quotes and sayings, or even comparing myself to inspiring celebrities. Thats me, and this is my blog...

keepcalmwearetimeless:

"He’s blushing"
     ~
Jennifer  “Gonna-Make-You-Say-It”  Morrison

(via swans-and-scoundrels)

3 days ago
1,379 notes
One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.
Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love” (via perverted—princess)

I know that I’ve posted this one, but damn this is a good set, I can’t help, but reblog

(via party-flow)

(Source: slambien, via notedposts)

3 days ago
570,866 notes

theinnkeeperlibrarian:

leepacey:

a restaurant in my hometown got a review that said the servers should “show some skin” so the owner added a potato skin special to the menu and all the proceeds from the special go to the west virginia foundation for rape information services (x)

That’s exactly the appropriate response.

(via condom)

3 days ago
265,816 notes

tuukka-rask:

if a girl wants to watch a sport because she thinks a player is hot then let her, it’s not like guys watch the VS fashion show because they want to buy new bras. 

(via castle-all-day-erryday)

3 days ago
538,228 notes

Doesn’t everbody wish they were Lupita??

(Source: heroinesaddiction, via ur-damn-right)

3 days ago
39,717 notes

If the signs were mythological creatures:

Aries:Werewolf
Taurus:Hell hound
Gemini:Doppelgänger
Cancer:Banshee
Leo:Fairy
Virgo:Angel
Libra:Nymph
Scorpio:Siren
Sagittarius:Ghost
Capricorn:Mermaid
Aquarius:Vampire
Pisces:Shapeshifter
3 days ago
91,217 notes
Does anyome else see 1. The permission slip is due after the field trip, and 2. The major grammar mistakes here??? This would never work with my parents

Does anyome else see 1. The permission slip is due after the field trip, and 2. The major grammar mistakes here??? This would never work with my parents

(Source: miranduh-cosgrove, via condom)

3 days ago
268,536 notes

spiderbesiderr:

sexxxisbeautiful:

that’s it that’s the whole argument.

That’s literally the best way i’ve ever seen to describe it.

(Source: citymod, via nefariouslycharming)

3 days ago
275,710 notes

swanshope:

Jennifer Morrison at Nerd HQ's Badass Women Panel, San Diego Comic Con - July 27th 2014 [x]

(via iftheladyinsists)

3 days ago
1,953 notes

goobsohard:

The sexual tension between two people when one of them says “make me”

(via castle-all-day-erryday)

3 days ago
478,316 notes

elux:

I’ve played entire games of Mario Kart watching the wrong screen

I’ve won entire games of Mario Kart watching the wrong screen

(via precumming)

3 days ago
200,107 notes